Autism parenting journey into adulthood is something no one truly prepares you for, yet it becomes one of the most defining paths a parent can walk.
When I was pregnant, I used to imagine the kind of mother I would be. Living in New York City, surrounded by culture, creativity, and opportunity, and fueled by my love for fashion and advocacy, I envisioned a life where my daughter and I would travel, work together, and exist side by side in the plus size fashion industry. It felt natural to dream that big. Why not?
Then, at two years old, my daughter was diagnosed with autism.
And suddenly, everything shifted.
I knew nothing about autism beyond a few distant connections to families who had children on the spectrum. There was no roadmap, no guidebook, no clear next step. What I did feel, immediately and intensely, was fear. Deep, overwhelming fear. That fear was followed by anger, confusion, and moments of despair. And then, more fear.
I did what so many of us do. I started reaching out. I researched. I asked questions. I searched for something, anything, that would tell me how to help my daughter. Early intervention services were incredibly helpful and gave us a strong foundation. But when she transitioned into the public school system, it became clear that, despite the efforts of some truly caring teachers, the environment was not designed to meet her where she was.
What followed was one of the most grueling experiences of my life.
Navigating the education system felt like a battle. Instead of collaboration, I was met with resistance. I was pressured, at times aggressively, by representatives of the Board of Education to place my daughter in a school that I knew was not appropriate for her needs. It felt as though the expectation was not for her to thrive, but simply to exist within a system that had already decided her limitations.
As if she were a lost cause.
But by then, I had done my research. I knew my rights as a parent. And more importantly, I knew my daughter.
I stood firm.
Because what I wanted, what every parent wants, was simple. The opportunity for my child to become the best version of herself.
Around that same time, I connected with Christina Mendez, a well known plus size model and autism advocate. She spoke so passionately about her child’s school that, despite it being nearly two hours from my home, I decided to visit. I went in convinced I would hate it. The distance alone felt impossible.
But the moment I walked in, everything changed.
Christina introduced me to the principal, and we entered the classroom where my daughter would potentially be placed. My daughter, who had never been comfortable around strangers, did something I will never forget. She walked away from me and went to sit with the other children.
I let her stay while I continued the tour.
When I returned, I found her in a dimly lit room, participating in yoga with the rest of the class. The teacher was encouraging, engaged, and genuinely present. She celebrated every movement as if it were extraordinary.
And in that moment, I saw something I had not seen before.
She was seen. She was supported. She was safe.
That was over ten years ago.
Luckily, the school my daughter attends has been extraordinarily supportive. The faculty has become part of our village and family. They have helped raise my little girl into the young lady she is today.
The nonverbal child I first brought into that school is now 17 years old.
Today, she is part of the school’s Life Skills Program, where she continues to be taught at her level, supported in her growth, and most importantly, respected as an individual. She has learned how to express herself, participate in group settings, and she genuinely looks forward to being in school.
And then something unexpected happened.
Remember those dreams I once had for Madison, the ones I thought would never be possible because of her diagnosis?
They did not disappear.
They evolved.
Today, Madison sings in her school chorus and is a soloist. She plays the drums. We work out together and take classes through Power Plus Wellness, the company I co-founded.
To my knowledge, we are the only autism mom and daughter duo to be featured in a campaign with Lane Bryant and FullBeauty Brands. She has also been part of a campaign with ‘swimher‘, a brand that offers plus size swimwear for tweens.
We have been interviewed and featured by podcasts, online media, and advocates across both the plus size and autism communities.
The dream was not lost.
It simply looks different.
And that does not make it any less magical.
And now, as my daughter approaches her 18th birthday, I find myself asking a question that so many in our community quietly carry.
What happens next?
Because while there is, rightfully, a strong focus on early intervention and supporting young children on the spectrum, there is far less conversation about what comes after.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately 1 in 36 children in the United States is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. This reflects a rapidly growing population of individuals who will transition into adulthood and require continued support.
Research and advocacy organizations such as the Autism Society of America consistently highlight that services and structured support often decrease significantly after high school, leaving many families navigating adulthood without clear direction.
One day, I came across a school in the Midwest that had transformed a classroom into a simulated studio apartment.
It immediately struck me. This is what our children need.
So I asked my daughter’s school if this was something they would consider. I offered to help raise the funds.
After several meetings, I was asked to turn my idea into a grant proposal.
I said yes, even though I had never written one before.
Within a year, they began creating what is now called a ‘Practice Pad‘.
It is a simulated apartment with spaces for laundry, dining, a bedroom, a living area, and more. A place where real life skills are taught in a meaningful and supportive way.
For many outside of the special needs community, this may not immediately resonate.
But for us, it means everything.
Because the truth is, we get tired.
Many of us are working parents. Some are doing this alone. Some are raising multiple children. Even in a two parent household with one child, there is never enough time to teach everything.
When you have a school that is thinking beyond the early years, it allows you to breathe a little easier.
The next chapter may feel scary.
But it is not impossible.
A Message to Parents and Caregivers
If you are on this journey, you are not alone.
While every individual on the spectrum is different, and some have more needs than others, we are all in this together.
This Autism parenting journey into adulthood is not linear. It has highs and lows, progress and setbacks.
But an autism diagnosis is not the end.
It is a different beginning.
A different life.
And it is the lens in which we choose to view that life that gives it meaning.
Follow me on my personal Instagram Page where I share more about our Autism Journey.
Madeline Jones is the founder and editor of PMMToday formerly known as PLUS Model Magazine.
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